ASK ANNA #1: Why is it Harder to Forgive Yourself?

November 19, 2014

I know that a lot of you have burning questions that you are itching to know the answers to. This is a place where you can ask for advice on any subject. :)

Visit Ask Anna Page to find out how to ask!


Image Credits: Vic via Flickr
John Doe asks...

"Do you agree it's harder to forgive yourself than it is for others to forgive you? I can never forgive myself, for some things I've done...even if the person I victimized forgave me."

Anna says…

It depends on your personality. If you are the type of person who is more internal, that is if you interpret the world by means of: how you react and how you feel or if you have an internal locus of control wherein you believe that YOU yourself control the situation then it is harder to forgive yourself.

Having an external locus of control on the other hand would blame the situation for his/her mistake. Hence, less responsibility and guilt is felt. 

In conclusion, it is easier for an external person to forgive himself because he can't control the situation, because he/she believes that everything he did was just by faith, by chance, or by will of the higher God. 

Know more on Victim Blaming, Attribution and Locus of Control here

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” 
― Steve Maraboli

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