Grief And Loss: 3 Ways To Positively Express Your Condolences

bereavement

Image Credits: pixabay.com
By: Suzie Kolber | Edited by: Anna Agoncillo

One of the most difficult things for a person to express is the feelings of empathy, sympathy, and condolences to someone who has lost a family member, a friend, a co-worker, or a significant someone.

Searching for the "right" words to say can be a serious struggle! This is why Suzie Kolber collated three tips to make this situation easier for both you and the person you want to comfort.

#1: BE GENUINE AND SINCERE.

It may not be intentional yet, you can come across as insecure when you say something that you do not mean. "I understand exactly how you feel!" is a prime example of this. 

Although you went through the similar situation, you cannot fully know how the other person actually feels. Everyone has a distinct personality and so are their emotions and actions. It is much better to say: "I cannot fully measure how you feel right now, but I am here for you."

Loss, Grief, and Coping: Rest in Paradise

annie agoncillo
By: Anna Agoncillo
They say that first cut is the deepest, but the second one feels as deep. My grandfather died last year, and now my grandmother who was battling Lung Cancer is gone.

Theoretical Basis of Bereavement

You might be familiar with the Kübler-Ross's 5 stages of grief. According to this model, we go through different stages during our bereavement namely: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance (Santrock, 2007). Although there are specific stages, the sequence is not fixed (Axelrod, 2006). Nonetheless, the end result is peaceful acceptance.

On the other hand, George Bonanno argues that there are no stages to go through because of our natural reaction to grief, called resilience (Bonanno, 2004).
Hold on! She's on her way to Paradise.

They say that first cut is the deepest, but the second one feels as deep. My grandfather died last year, and now my grandmother who was battling Lung Cancer is gone.

At first, I was in denial. When my mom told me about my grandmother’s passing, I didn’t even cry. I just told her to be strong and that I’m glad that she’s in a better place now. But, I felt the heaviness in my chest.

I thought I was emotionally strong because I was mentally prepared for the worst. You see, the doctors had given her 4 days to live.

As I was telling my friends about the big news, my tears rushed down. It’s reality hitting me in the head. She’s gone. I can no longer taste the food she cooks, nor can I hear her say she loves me.

Like MP on Facebook