How to Save a Life

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Losing someone we love is never easy, and it's especially heartbreaking when it's due to mental health struggles. My friends and I recently lost someone special, and it's made us realize how important it is to talk about mental health and support those around us.

When someone is battling Depression, it's difficult to know what they're going through or how they're interpreting things. False evidence can appear real, and the PAIN they feel is OVERWHELMING and VALID. If we could take the weight off his shoulders or burden off his heart, we would. But the truth is, our loved one wouldn't want us to dwell on what-ifs or the past. He'd want us to remember him with love and joy, and to help others overcome their own battles with mental health.

So, what can we do? First, let's start by accepting the situation and acknowledging what the person is going through (with sensitivity and without judgments, please). Let's be aware of the signs that someone might be struggling:

Surviving Toxic Family Members This Christmas

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Protect Your Peace From Toxic Family Members This Christmas

The holidays are often painted as a season of warmth and love, yet for many they arrive with a quiet heaviness. Family gatherings can reopen old wounds, especially when the very people we lean on bring up insecurities, stretch our generosity too far, or turn love into unspoken financial demands.

For OFWs and family providers, Christmas can feel less like a celebration and more like a weight to carry. Recognizing toxic family patterns is not selfish. It is a necessary step in protecting our mental health and honoring the sacrifices we continue to make.

Crying Is Not a Sign of Weakness

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“Those who do not weep, do not see.” Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

I have always been someone who cries easily. Whether I am hurt, joyful, or overwhelmed by beauty, my instinct is to let the tears fall, and I always feel lighter afterward.

One childhood memory stands out. My father once told me, “If I could give you my strong heart, I would.” Even as a child, I never believed strength meant hiding your tears. To me, crying has always been an honest expression of what it means to be human.

I cried while watching Wicked 2, especially during “For Good,” because it captured the beauty of connection. I cried when I failed my first thesis defense, and I cried again when I finally passed. The second time, the tears felt like a rainbow after a long storm. That moment reminded me that resilience comes from releasing, not suppressing.

Eldest Sibling Chronicles: The Ultimate Balancing Act

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Being the eldest sibling often feels like carrying the weight of the entire family on your shoulders. As the eldest of three, I know this all too well. From helping my sisters with their assignments to supporting my parents in disciplining my younger sibling or managing the household staff, it often feels like I’m the glue holding everything together. There's an unspoken responsibility to ensure everyone’s well-being.

A beloved family member once told me, “It’s really hard to be the eldest. Sometimes, I wish I could just switch off my brain and let someone else take charge.” And I couldn’t agree more.

Moreover, I can’t imagine the weight my mother carries as the eldest among her siblings. Despite her own responsibilities, she continues to extend emotional and financial support to her family. Her selflessness and resilience are truly admirable, and I often think about her when facing my own challenges.

This sense of responsibility carries over into my work and studies.

Failure often feels like it’s simply not an option. I’ve always aimed high, striving for success at every turn. But reality hit hard when I received a failing mark in school. The feelings of incompetence and disappointment were overwhelming, especially when you’re raised to believe success is the coveted path.

Thankfully, I’m continuously learning to see failure in a new light—not as the opposite of success but as a stepping stone toward it. Even now, though, the drive to stay on top and make the right choices never truly goes away.

Turning 30: Embracing the Benefits of Aging

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As I turn 30 this year, I couldn't be more excited about the journey ahead! Personally, I've honed in on a career path that ignites my passion, affording me the ability to invest in experiences that truly enrich my life. This pivotal age allows me to direct my focus towards my spouse and family with newfound clarity.

They say wisdom accompanies age, and indeed, as you gain more insight into how the world operates, you find yourself increasingly at peace, with fewer uncertainties clouding your mind. Here are some remarkable benefits that come with turning 30, and if you're feeling apprehensive, fear not:

Psychology Behind the K-Wave: Why Filipinos Are Hooked

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Over the past decade, a captivating phenomenon has taken the world by storm - the Korean Culture craze. From learning how to speak and read Hangul during the pandemic to obsessively following K-pop and K-drama, Filipinos have been drawn into this global cultural wave. Including myself!

The surge in interest isn't merely coincidental; it's deeply rooted in the psychology of human behavior. Why has K-Culture captured the hearts of millions worldwide, particularly in the Philippines?

Escapism and Fantasy

The allure of escapism and fantasy lies at the heart of the K-Culture craze. For Filipinos seeking an escape from the routine, K-dramas offer a captivating alternative that allows them to immerse themselves in a world of romance, adventure, and excitement.

According to a study conducted by Kircaburun et al. (2021), Mukbang watching has been found to have beneficial consequences. It seems to alleviate feelings of loneliness and social isolation by creating a virtual social community. 

Challenging the Societal Pressure to Get Married

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Have you ever wondered why there's so much pressure to get married, even though it's not a requirement?

It's like a weight that suddenly falls upon you the moment you hit 25 and enter the realm of adulthood. The quarter-life crisis hits you like a tidal wave, and you find yourself grappling with responsibilities you never thought much about before.

You're expected to secure a good job, earn a certain amount of money, and, of course, find a life partner. But let's be honest, getting married doesn't hold the same importance as building a successful career or creating a better life for yourself. Yet, those around you seem to believe that hitting a certain age automatically means it's time to settle down and start a family.

I've personally experienced this firsthand. I've been with my husband for 12 years, including our time as girlfriend and boyfriend. When I was single, I constantly faced relentless questioning about when I would settle down. Now that I'm in a committed relationship, I understand why people are curious about it, but I, too, had my own uncertainties. I had no clue when my partner would pop the question, and I eagerly anticipated that moment. Social gatherings became a breeding ground for constant pressure and interrogations.

But here's the thing: regardless of whether that proposal comes when expected or not, the lingering feeling of needing to get married takes a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. It becomes an additional burden amidst all the other significant responsibilities and pressures life throws at you.

Stop Feeling Guilty for Taking a Well-Deserved Break

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It's been a while since I've had the luxury of time to pour my thoughts out in an expressive post. You see, I needed to put a halt on blogging to focus on other important matters such as completing my graduate studies, professional website writing, and working full-time for an HR consulting firm.

"How many hours do you have in a day, Anna?" a friend of mine quipped. She was so boggled by how many tasks were on my plate. Her query made me realize that slowing down is not in my nature.

Whether I am taking on a new hobby or studying new things to grow professionally and personally, I always keep myself occupied. In the rare days that I get to embody a couch potato, I relish the time I spend with my favorite shows on Netflix. I indulge in those days when I can fully relax and not think of anything else.

However, not everyone delights in the idea of slowing down. Some people feel guilty about taking well-deserved breaks.


Ask yourself: "Am I prioritizing work or school over my health?"

Our society tends to put a greater importance on our careers and academic achievements than our physical health. Many of us do not stand and stretch our legs every half hour. We do not stretch our wrists before typing. Furthermore, we do not reduce our screen time, as recommended by health professionals. It is not just our physical health that is deteriorating!

Key Differences Between Psychologists, Psychiatrists, & Psychometricians

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As I was scrolling thru my unread messages on a popular messaging app, a friend woke me up with an query. "What's the difference between a Psychometrician and a Psychologist?"

Interestingly, this was not the first time that I encountered this question. In the country where I am practicing, Psychometrics is a relatively new field. In fact, the first licensure examinations for Psychometrician was held in 2014. That is about 7 years ago. The public has gradually embraced the importance of Psychometricians, in various settings.

I find it helpful to discuss the differences between a Psychometrician, a Psychologist, and a Psychiatrist before I begin testing on a client. The client's "aha" moment, a moment of sudden realization and comprehension, always brings a bliss to me.

Psychiatrists, Psychologists, and Psychometricians are all students of the mind. What separates the Psychiatrist from the rest is that it can prescribe medication, whereas the other two professionals cannot. Moreover, you need to attend medical school to become a Psychiatrist. Psychiatrists work closely with neurologists, surgeons and other medical practitioners to bridge the connection between the mind and the body.

Psychologists study human behavior on many levels. You need to complete your graduate studies and pass the licensure examinations, before becoming a Psychologist. They work in many industries such as human resources and hospitals. Both the licensed Psychiatrists and Psychologists can diagnose mental health disorders.

Now let's go to the professional that assesses your mental health "vital signs" - the Psychometrician. You need a bachelor's degree to qualify for the licensure examinations.

The Gift of Forgiveness: The Story of Maynard and His "Friends"

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June 5, 2020 will always hold a special place in my heart. On this day, my childhood dream of becoming a published author became a reality. The first copies of Psychology of Love, Money, & Life (#plmlbook) will be shipped in July 2020. Words cannot describe the amount of pride I carried as I glossed over the fragrant pages of my paperback. Just when I thought that things will not get more exciting than this, I finished my second book during a global pandemic. 

I never thought that I would write the "True Stories of Forgiveness" while trapped in my own home due to the bounds of quarantine. Amidst the fear that brewed around me, I was inspired to create an art piece that focuses on the brighter side of life. While crafting this book, I had the pleasure of peeking inside the lives of several people. They were brave enough to share their stories of acceptance and letting go. One thing is for sure - forgiveness is subjective. It is a process of confusion, pain, anger, judgment and so much more. These intense process will ultimately lead to self-improvement and inner peace. Those are the elements we seek, after all. 

How To Spot Depression In Your Family And Friends

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Amidst the chaos of the pandemic, openly discussing about worries and fears is vital at this time. Mental health awareness can pull a body away from the drowning waves of negative emotions. With no access to Psychiatric drugs or face-to-face therapy, how can you spot depression?

 Since my background is in Psychology, my friends and loved ones feel safe to divulge the stories of their lives. I listen to their problems and provide ways to help them cope. When two of my close friends were diagnosed with depression, I immediately noticed the changes in their behavior and thought patterns. A physical condition such as an infected wound is easy to spot, but depression is another story.

Little do you know that mental illnesses such as depression is persistent in the Philippines. In fact, the suicide rate in the country is 2.5% for males and 1.7% in females (per 100,000 people)! Worldwide, close to 800,000 people die by suicide every year says WHO. You can only imagine these stats increasing as we are in the climax of a crisis. 

 Depression is more than just the grave feelings of sadness. It is a serious mental illness that negatively affects one’s overall functioning. The experience of depression varies for each individual. While others may feel scared with their impending doom, some may feel apathetic about the entire situation. Evidence have shown that men have a tendency to feel restless and angry when they are depressed.

 Read more: DEPRESSION, AWARENESS AND COPING: KNOW DEPRESSION, NO STIGMA

Why Do We Love?

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As negativity infiltrate social media and as unfortunate events make noise, it takes conscious effort to highlight the goodness in the world. Hence, I steered my focus on love. Why do we love? 

 Love is addicting, beautiful, heart-breaking, and exciting! Often, these descriptions are felt at the same time. Why do we choose to put ourselves inside this emotional roller-coaster? Does love make our lives meaningful or does it help us to escape from existential loneliness? If romantic love serves a purpose, what is it exactly? 

 Not one law has been put to place regarding the reason why human beings fall in love. Nonetheless, here are some interesting theories. 

 #1: LOVE IS AN ARTISTIC EXPRESSION

 I have gathered the opinions of my Interior Designer and Photographer friends to elaborate the reason why love exists. To them, love is a form of self-expression that binds society. Acts of love are performative and creative. You perform the acts of service, time, and touch. On the other hand, you creatively express through giving gifts and words. There is a sense of fulfillment in receiving validation from your partner (or "audience"). 

 Much like art, love helps us to connect to our audience given our imperfections. It makes life worth living!
"We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for." 
- Dead Poets Society movie

Quarantine Survival Guide: How To Beat The Cabin Fever

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 Due to the worldwide pandemic of COVID-19, many countries have imposed community quarantine. As we are practicing social distancing and our abilities to go to outside are restricted, many of us have felt the "cabin fever" in one way or the other. What exactly is cabin fever?

 Cabin fever is not categorized as a Psychological disorder yet. However, its origins date back to the early 1800s when people were home bound due to the typhus fever. It is the unpleasant feeling experienced by a person in isolation for a period of time. It was recently described by Mr. Vaile Wright, who is a Psychologist and a Director of clinical research and quality at the American Psychological Association.

 According to him, cabin fever: "involves a range of negative emotions and distress related to restricted movement: irritability, boredom, some hopelessness and even, behaviorally, restlessness and difficulty concentrating. Those would be the constellation of symptoms one might expect if they were feeling that way."

 Many people can perceive being in a quarantine as being trapped in an isolation chamber created to protect us. Boredom, irritability, and hopelessness are some of the most common emotions you see on social media platforms these days. It is perfectly normal to be scared when faced with this serious pandemic that has taken many lives. Know that your feelings are valid.

Why You Should Let Your Emotions Flow And Focus On The Solution

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To say that the year 2019 ran by smoothly is completely false! It was one of the most challenging years of my personal and professional life. There were moments when I find myself crying in the corner and praying that things will get better. However, the closure of one issue is the birth of another. With the unending cycle of ups and downs, I learned how to adapt to different types of situations. 2019 has thought me some of the most valuable lessons that I hold dearly to this day. Despite its punches and blessings, I would not have it any other way!

 Emotional regulation was one of the priceless lessons I reaped from the past year. Emotions - we all have them - but can we control them? 

Why Is It So Hard To Trust?

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It is difficult to encapsulate the true meaning of the word TRUST.

 Generally speaking, trust is the firm belief on someone or something. You may also attach "vulnerability" to the act of trust. Vulnerability in terms of showing someone's unwavering strengths and hidden weaknesses. It is so interesting to see how a single word carries a different weight from one person to another. What's more? There are two types of trust according to the Social Psychologists.

 THE TWO POLES

 When it comes to the game of love, there is a reason why your closest friends advice you to think with your head and not with your heart. You see, these divisions have roots in the way we trust others. Social Psychology states that the two types of trust are Cognitive and Affective Trust. 

 As the name suggests, Cognitive Trust is based on one's existing knowledge and exposure to evidence. This is also called as "trusting with your head". On the other hand, Affective Trust exists due to the emotional ties we build with others. It is the confidence we place on others based on our intersections with them. 

It Took Me Two Decades To Realize These

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Life is a journey of self-discovery. These past few months, I have noticed a significant slump on the road. Many seemingly minuscule and massive events made me realize how important it is to undergo a personal cleanse.

 No! I am not referring to the latest dietary cleanse or juice fast in the market (which I probably consider). I am referring to taking necessary actions to become a better version of myself. Actions needed to become a better daughter, a better friend, a better co-worker, a better partner, and a better person. 

 I turned to social support, spirituality, and Philosophy for guidance. A school of thought that shifted my mindset entirely is Stoicism. Stoicism highlights the division between what is happening to the world and how we emotionally respond to it. It is founded by Zeno, a wealthy merchant who had lost it all. In his despair, he turned to Philosophy for strength. 

How Can You Prevent Insomnia?

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By definition, Insomnia is the difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep. Individuals with Insomnia often report feeling dissatisfied with their sleep and usually experience one or more of the following symptoms: fatigue, low energy, difficulty concentrating, mood disturbances, and decreased performance in work or at school.

How To Interact With Needy Individuals (Including Yourself)

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Before we get down to business, I must define what neediness and being needy really is.

 Neediness is considered as a condition of indigence. People with low socioeconomic status feel this condition. On the other hand, a needy person is insecure and codependent. He or she usually uses tactics to gain approval, attention, or both. 

 As with everything, there are two sides of the story. There are those who deal with the needy individuals and those who deal with their emotional conflicts. Continue reading on to know more!

How An Anxiety Attack Changed My View On Life

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LUB-DUB, LUB-DUB, LUB-DUB


 I heard my heart pound as fast as it could! It was as if horses want to escape out of my chest. I was getting dizzier as time passed. Not to mention, I was sweating profusely. Every hair on my body went up! I knew I needed a break. My body's alarm system craved my attention.

 WHAT REALLY HAPPENED

 I am happy to walk you through the beginning. From a young age, my parents and my resources have blessed with the academic skills to do well in school. I was consistently in the "higher level classes" and have been in the honor roll. I finished with undergraduate degree when I was 19 and earned Second-class honours (i.e., 2i or Magna cum laude). Soon after, I fulfilled my childhood dream by becoming an author. Few years down the road, I had set my mind to a distinct career path. I was offered a coveted promotion that people typically receive at the height of their careers.

 By merely reading the above paragraph, you will get a grasp of how seemingly fast-paced my life is. Imagine my initial reaction!

ASK ANNA #9: Alzheimer's and Art Therapy

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Recently, I have been given the chance to explore the relationship of Alzheimer’s Disease and Art Therapy. Here are just some of the interview questions that I answered. These information may come in handy in the future!

 What are the mental capabilities of people with Alzheimer's?

 The mental capabilities of people with this condition are limited. At first, they may notice mild confusion and difficulty in remembering trivial things (e.g., the location of one’s keys). Multitasking is challenging for them too!

 Eventually, they may forget the names of important people in their lives. Further progression of the disorder may lead to the inability to recognize numbers and the inability to converse coherently.

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