Surviving Toxic Family Members This Christmas

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Protect Your Peace From Toxic Family Members This Christmas

The holidays are often painted as a season of warmth and love, yet for many they arrive with a quiet heaviness. Family gatherings can reopen old wounds, especially when the very people we lean on bring up insecurities, stretch our generosity too far, or turn love into unspoken financial demands.

For OFWs and family providers, Christmas can feel less like a celebration and more like a weight to carry. Recognizing toxic family patterns is not selfish. It is a necessary step in protecting our mental health and honoring the sacrifices we continue to make.

Crying Is Not a Sign of Weakness

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“Those who do not weep, do not see.” Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

I have always been someone who cries easily. Whether I am hurt, joyful, or overwhelmed by beauty, my instinct is to let the tears fall, and I always feel lighter afterward.

One childhood memory stands out. My father once told me, “If I could give you my strong heart, I would.” Even as a child, I never believed strength meant hiding your tears. To me, crying has always been an honest expression of what it means to be human.

I cried while watching Wicked 2, especially during “For Good,” because it captured the beauty of connection. I cried when I failed my first thesis defense, and I cried again when I finally passed. The second time, the tears felt like a rainbow after a long storm. That moment reminded me that resilience comes from releasing, not suppressing.

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