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“Those who do not weep, do not see.” Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

I have always been someone who cries easily. Whether I am hurt, joyful, or overwhelmed by beauty, my instinct is to let the tears fall, and I always feel lighter afterward.

One childhood memory stands out. My father once told me, “If I could give you my strong heart, I would.” Even as a child, I never believed strength meant hiding your tears. To me, crying has always been an honest expression of what it means to be human.

I cried while watching Wicked 2, especially during “For Good,” because it captured the beauty of connection. I cried when I failed my first thesis defense, and I cried again when I finally passed. The second time, the tears felt like a rainbow after a long storm. That moment reminded me that resilience comes from releasing, not suppressing.

Why Crying Helps Us Heal

Crying is not emotional weakness. It is actually part of how the body keeps itself balanced. Our brain constantly works to maintain homeostasis, or inner stability. When emotions become too intense, tears act like a natural pressure release. They help the body let go of tension by releasing oxytocin and endorphins, two chemicals that create a sense of calm and comfort.

Psychologist Christina Pierpaoli Parker, Ph.D., explains that tears relieve psychological pressure stored in the sympathetic nervous system. When that pressure decreases, both emotional and physical pain begin to ease. This is why crying often makes us feel clearer and calmer.

Crying also strengthens our relationships. Attachment theory suggests that showing vulnerability helps deepen social bonds. Tears signal that we need comfort, understanding, or support. It is a natural way for the body to seek connection without using words.

The Gender Myth That “Only Girls Cry”

Many people still believe that crying is something only girls do. The truth is that both men and women have the same biological ability to cry. What differs is how society teaches each gender to express emotion.

Growing up, boys often receive messages to toughen up, while girls are allowed softness and emotional expression. These social rules shape how people regulate their feelings as adults. Emotion regulation is a skill that anyone can learn, regardless of gender. A strong heart is not defined by dry eyes. It is defined by the courage to feel deeply and keep going.

How to Cry Well and Safely

Allowing yourself to cry is a healthy emotional skill. Here are gentle ways to create space for your feelings:

1. Practice Mindfulness

Meditation, yoga, or slow breathing help you reconnect with emotions you may have pushed aside. Feelings sometimes rise before they settle, so trust the process.

2. Share Your Feelings With Someone Safe

Talking to a close friend or a therapist creates an atmosphere where tears can fall naturally. Being witnessed in your vulnerability can be deeply healing.

3. Respect Your Preference for Privacy

If you cry best alone, honor that. Your bedroom, your car, or the shower can provide a quiet environment where emotions can flow without judgment.

4. Know That Crying Is Cathartic

Tears are your body’s way of resetting. They are not a breakdown but a cleansing release.

Crying has never made me weak. It has made me more grounded, more connected, and more resilient. My tears have carried me through heartbreak and triumph, and each one reminded me that feeling deeply is part of being alive. The next time you cry, remember that you are not falling apart.

You are letting go, and sometimes that release is exactly what healing looks like.

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