How to Save a Life

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Losing someone we love is never easy, and it's especially heartbreaking when it's due to mental health struggles. My friends and I recently lost someone special, and it's made us realize how important it is to talk about mental health and support those around us.

When someone is battling Depression, it's difficult to know what they're going through or how they're interpreting things. False evidence can appear real, and the PAIN they feel is OVERWHELMING and VALID. If we could take the weight off his shoulders or burden off his heart, we would. But the truth is, our loved one wouldn't want us to dwell on what-ifs or the past. He'd want us to remember him with love and joy, and to help others overcome their own battles with mental health.

So, what can we do? First, let's start by accepting the situation and acknowledging what the person is going through (with sensitivity and without judgments, please). Let's be aware of the signs that someone might be struggling:

Surviving Toxic Family Members This Christmas

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Protect Your Peace From Toxic Family Members This Christmas

The holidays are often painted as a season of warmth and love, yet for many they arrive with a quiet heaviness. Family gatherings can reopen old wounds, especially when the very people we lean on bring up insecurities, stretch our generosity too far, or turn love into unspoken financial demands.

For OFWs and family providers, Christmas can feel less like a celebration and more like a weight to carry. Recognizing toxic family patterns is not selfish. It is a necessary step in protecting our mental health and honoring the sacrifices we continue to make.

Crying Is Not a Sign of Weakness

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“Those who do not weep, do not see.” Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

I have always been someone who cries easily. Whether I am hurt, joyful, or overwhelmed by beauty, my instinct is to let the tears fall, and I always feel lighter afterward.

One childhood memory stands out. My father once told me, “If I could give you my strong heart, I would.” Even as a child, I never believed strength meant hiding your tears. To me, crying has always been an honest expression of what it means to be human.

I cried while watching Wicked 2, especially during “For Good,” because it captured the beauty of connection. I cried when I failed my first thesis defense, and I cried again when I finally passed. The second time, the tears felt like a rainbow after a long storm. That moment reminded me that resilience comes from releasing, not suppressing.

Eldest Sibling Chronicles: The Ultimate Balancing Act

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Being the eldest sibling often feels like carrying the weight of the entire family on your shoulders. As the eldest of three, I know this all too well. From helping my sisters with their assignments to supporting my parents in disciplining my younger sibling or managing the household staff, it often feels like I’m the glue holding everything together. There's an unspoken responsibility to ensure everyone’s well-being.

A beloved family member once told me, “It’s really hard to be the eldest. Sometimes, I wish I could just switch off my brain and let someone else take charge.” And I couldn’t agree more.

Moreover, I can’t imagine the weight my mother carries as the eldest among her siblings. Despite her own responsibilities, she continues to extend emotional and financial support to her family. Her selflessness and resilience are truly admirable, and I often think about her when facing my own challenges.

This sense of responsibility carries over into my work and studies.

Failure often feels like it’s simply not an option. I’ve always aimed high, striving for success at every turn. But reality hit hard when I received a failing mark in school. The feelings of incompetence and disappointment were overwhelming, especially when you’re raised to believe success is the coveted path.

Thankfully, I’m continuously learning to see failure in a new light—not as the opposite of success but as a stepping stone toward it. Even now, though, the drive to stay on top and make the right choices never truly goes away.

Challenging the Societal Pressure to Get Married

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Have you ever wondered why there's so much pressure to get married, even though it's not a requirement?

It's like a weight that suddenly falls upon you the moment you hit 25 and enter the realm of adulthood. The quarter-life crisis hits you like a tidal wave, and you find yourself grappling with responsibilities you never thought much about before.

You're expected to secure a good job, earn a certain amount of money, and, of course, find a life partner. But let's be honest, getting married doesn't hold the same importance as building a successful career or creating a better life for yourself. Yet, those around you seem to believe that hitting a certain age automatically means it's time to settle down and start a family.

I've personally experienced this firsthand. I've been with my husband for 12 years, including our time as girlfriend and boyfriend. When I was single, I constantly faced relentless questioning about when I would settle down. Now that I'm in a committed relationship, I understand why people are curious about it, but I, too, had my own uncertainties. I had no clue when my partner would pop the question, and I eagerly anticipated that moment. Social gatherings became a breeding ground for constant pressure and interrogations.

But here's the thing: regardless of whether that proposal comes when expected or not, the lingering feeling of needing to get married takes a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. It becomes an additional burden amidst all the other significant responsibilities and pressures life throws at you.

Stop Feeling Guilty for Taking a Well-Deserved Break

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It's been a while since I've had the luxury of time to pour my thoughts out in an expressive post. You see, I needed to put a halt on blogging to focus on other important matters such as completing my graduate studies, professional website writing, and working full-time for an HR consulting firm.

"How many hours do you have in a day, Anna?" a friend of mine quipped. She was so boggled by how many tasks were on my plate. Her query made me realize that slowing down is not in my nature.

Whether I am taking on a new hobby or studying new things to grow professionally and personally, I always keep myself occupied. In the rare days that I get to embody a couch potato, I relish the time I spend with my favorite shows on Netflix. I indulge in those days when I can fully relax and not think of anything else.

However, not everyone delights in the idea of slowing down. Some people feel guilty about taking well-deserved breaks.


Ask yourself: "Am I prioritizing work or school over my health?"

Our society tends to put a greater importance on our careers and academic achievements than our physical health. Many of us do not stand and stretch our legs every half hour. We do not stretch our wrists before typing. Furthermore, we do not reduce our screen time, as recommended by health professionals. It is not just our physical health that is deteriorating!

Why Do We Love?

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As negativity infiltrate social media and as unfortunate events make noise, it takes conscious effort to highlight the goodness in the world. Hence, I steered my focus on love. Why do we love? 

 Love is addicting, beautiful, heart-breaking, and exciting! Often, these descriptions are felt at the same time. Why do we choose to put ourselves inside this emotional roller-coaster? Does love make our lives meaningful or does it help us to escape from existential loneliness? If romantic love serves a purpose, what is it exactly? 

 Not one law has been put to place regarding the reason why human beings fall in love. Nonetheless, here are some interesting theories. 

 #1: LOVE IS AN ARTISTIC EXPRESSION

 I have gathered the opinions of my Interior Designer and Photographer friends to elaborate the reason why love exists. To them, love is a form of self-expression that binds society. Acts of love are performative and creative. You perform the acts of service, time, and touch. On the other hand, you creatively express through giving gifts and words. There is a sense of fulfillment in receiving validation from your partner (or "audience"). 

 Much like art, love helps us to connect to our audience given our imperfections. It makes life worth living!
"We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for." 
- Dead Poets Society movie

Quarantine Survival Guide: How To Beat The Cabin Fever

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 Due to the worldwide pandemic of COVID-19, many countries have imposed community quarantine. As we are practicing social distancing and our abilities to go to outside are restricted, many of us have felt the "cabin fever" in one way or the other. What exactly is cabin fever?

 Cabin fever is not categorized as a Psychological disorder yet. However, its origins date back to the early 1800s when people were home bound due to the typhus fever. It is the unpleasant feeling experienced by a person in isolation for a period of time. It was recently described by Mr. Vaile Wright, who is a Psychologist and a Director of clinical research and quality at the American Psychological Association.

 According to him, cabin fever: "involves a range of negative emotions and distress related to restricted movement: irritability, boredom, some hopelessness and even, behaviorally, restlessness and difficulty concentrating. Those would be the constellation of symptoms one might expect if they were feeling that way."

 Many people can perceive being in a quarantine as being trapped in an isolation chamber created to protect us. Boredom, irritability, and hopelessness are some of the most common emotions you see on social media platforms these days. It is perfectly normal to be scared when faced with this serious pandemic that has taken many lives. Know that your feelings are valid.

Why You Should Let Your Emotions Flow And Focus On The Solution

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To say that the year 2019 ran by smoothly is completely false! It was one of the most challenging years of my personal and professional life. There were moments when I find myself crying in the corner and praying that things will get better. However, the closure of one issue is the birth of another. With the unending cycle of ups and downs, I learned how to adapt to different types of situations. 2019 has thought me some of the most valuable lessons that I hold dearly to this day. Despite its punches and blessings, I would not have it any other way!

 Emotional regulation was one of the priceless lessons I reaped from the past year. Emotions - we all have them - but can we control them? 

Why Is It So Hard To Trust?

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It is difficult to encapsulate the true meaning of the word TRUST.

 Generally speaking, trust is the firm belief on someone or something. You may also attach "vulnerability" to the act of trust. Vulnerability in terms of showing someone's unwavering strengths and hidden weaknesses. It is so interesting to see how a single word carries a different weight from one person to another. What's more? There are two types of trust according to the Social Psychologists.

 THE TWO POLES

 When it comes to the game of love, there is a reason why your closest friends advice you to think with your head and not with your heart. You see, these divisions have roots in the way we trust others. Social Psychology states that the two types of trust are Cognitive and Affective Trust. 

 As the name suggests, Cognitive Trust is based on one's existing knowledge and exposure to evidence. This is also called as "trusting with your head". On the other hand, Affective Trust exists due to the emotional ties we build with others. It is the confidence we place on others based on our intersections with them. 

It Took Me Two Decades To Realize These

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Life is a journey of self-discovery. These past few months, I have noticed a significant slump on the road. Many seemingly minuscule and massive events made me realize how important it is to undergo a personal cleanse.

 No! I am not referring to the latest dietary cleanse or juice fast in the market (which I probably consider). I am referring to taking necessary actions to become a better version of myself. Actions needed to become a better daughter, a better friend, a better co-worker, a better partner, and a better person. 

 I turned to social support, spirituality, and Philosophy for guidance. A school of thought that shifted my mindset entirely is Stoicism. Stoicism highlights the division between what is happening to the world and how we emotionally respond to it. It is founded by Zeno, a wealthy merchant who had lost it all. In his despair, he turned to Philosophy for strength. 

How To Interact With Needy Individuals (Including Yourself)

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Before we get down to business, I must define what neediness and being needy really is.

 Neediness is considered as a condition of indigence. People with low socioeconomic status feel this condition. On the other hand, a needy person is insecure and codependent. He or she usually uses tactics to gain approval, attention, or both. 

 As with everything, there are two sides of the story. There are those who deal with the needy individuals and those who deal with their emotional conflicts. Continue reading on to know more!

How An Anxiety Attack Changed My View On Life

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LUB-DUB, LUB-DUB, LUB-DUB


 I heard my heart pound as fast as it could! It was as if horses want to escape out of my chest. I was getting dizzier as time passed. Not to mention, I was sweating profusely. Every hair on my body went up! I knew I needed a break. My body's alarm system craved my attention.

 WHAT REALLY HAPPENED

 I am happy to walk you through the beginning. From a young age, my parents and my resources have blessed with the academic skills to do well in school. I was consistently in the "higher level classes" and have been in the honor roll. I finished with undergraduate degree when I was 19 and earned Second-class honours (i.e., 2i or Magna cum laude). Soon after, I fulfilled my childhood dream by becoming an author. Few years down the road, I had set my mind to a distinct career path. I was offered a coveted promotion that people typically receive at the height of their careers.

 By merely reading the above paragraph, you will get a grasp of how seemingly fast-paced my life is. Imagine my initial reaction!

ASK ANNA #9: Alzheimer's and Art Therapy

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Recently, I have been given the chance to explore the relationship of Alzheimer’s Disease and Art Therapy. Here are just some of the interview questions that I answered. These information may come in handy in the future!

 What are the mental capabilities of people with Alzheimer's?

 The mental capabilities of people with this condition are limited. At first, they may notice mild confusion and difficulty in remembering trivial things (e.g., the location of one’s keys). Multitasking is challenging for them too!

 Eventually, they may forget the names of important people in their lives. Further progression of the disorder may lead to the inability to recognize numbers and the inability to converse coherently.

Don Juanism: A Peek Into The World Of Womanizers

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Womanizing is prevalent in my immediate microsystem. Several of my family members, friends, and co-workers have succumb to temptation. How many of you can utter the same sentiment? I know I am not the only one!

 In the span of my crucial teenage years, I began to accept that womanizing is somewhat of a norm. I was young and impressionable. Further exposure to a diverse macrosystem enlightened my path to the complexities of casual and polygamous relationships. My innate exposure to this type of lifestyle made me curious about the possible roots of male sexual promiscuity.

 As I was examining a particular case, I vividly recalled the riveting lecture given by my undergraduate professor. He stressed that some men repress their homosexual tendencies by participating in revolving sexual conquests with the opposite gender. He introduced it as the "Don Juan Syndrome" or Don Juanism. It is one of the possible explanations behind the actions of womanizers.

She Is Braver Than She Thinks: A CBT Experiment On Social Anxiety

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If you cannot brace the overwhelming attention given by other people, do your best to fit into the ideal. Let us face it! We live in a society that is governed by a set of standards. This is why we employ dress code at workplaces and guest etiquette at weddings. Most of us have a preconceived notion that conforming with the majority leads to wider acceptance and to less judgement. But, is this always the case?

 GETTING DOWN TO BUSINESS

 Last month, I had the privilege to partake in a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) whereby a subject was tasked to address certain thoughts with the aid of Exposure therapy. Exposure therapy occurs when there is a gradual interaction between the person and the feared object or situation. This method works well with people who suffer from Phobia. 

 For the purpose of anonymity, the subject's name will be replaced by a fictional character from the Harry Potter series. Hermione is weighed down by her Social Anxiety. Social Anxiety (or Social Phobia) refers to the extreme fear of being judged by others in social situations. This is why the objective of the experiment is to disprove her assumptions that she attracts attention due to the presence of negative traits (i.e., physical appearance and other internal factors).

 The premise is simple! She wore an over-the-top outfit while interacting with people in different types of places. Picture a woman with a face mask, black eye-shadow, dark clothing, and blue hair. Will you stop and stare? The mere thought of eyes gazing in her direction made Hermione's heart pound.

2016 COUNTDOWN: BEST MISS PSYCHOBABBLE ARTICLES OF THE YEAR

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Describing the Year 2016 as "surprising" is an understatement!

 Several significant events happened throughout the globe. Syrian War caused tremendous devastation especially to innocent young children. Reality star and business mogul Donald Trump won the United States presidential election. Renowned celebrities such as Prince, Carrie Fisher, and Alan Rickman passed away.

 I shall bring the lenses closer to home! An observable political shift swept the Philippines and the international authorities. We cannot predict what will happen next.

 Zooming in further will give you a glimpse of the holistic summation of my year. I reached potent milestones in my adult life. These achievements were made possible by using "goal setting". I will share more about its power in the succeeding article. 

Psychology Behind Our Fascination Over The Brangelina Split

brad pitt and angelina jolie

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When the news broke that Hollywood’s powerhouse couple Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt (better known as #Brangelina) were parting ways due to “irreconcilable differences”, my social media feed went wild! I bet that the same thing happened to most of us.

Humanity processed the imminent doom of Brangelina’s relationship. Digital and physical publications were filled with the de-Brangelization headlines, which caused outbreaks of sadness and anger from the avid fans of these said celebrities. People all over the world were mourning. However, there were some people who cared less. My seemingly cool hippie cousin was one of them. 

 As I was observing the reactions of most netizens, it made me ponder about the existence of the public’s fascination over celebrities and their relationships. Why do we care so much about the Brangelina split? 

BLEPP Effect: Rise Above It All

blepp 2016

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Written by: Inna Agravantes | Edited by: Anna Agoncillo

There are always two sides to a story. The journey of others to becoming a Registered Psychometrician may be triumphant but, it does not translate to everyone. Only a few people from the other end of the pole are willing to share their stories. Thankfully, Inna Agravantes was one of them.

I admire her great resilience despite the unwanted circumstance that she was in. She rose above it all with a mindset that is purely optimistic and hopeful. As of today, her inspiring voice has reached more than 8,000 people.

BLEPP Effect: How I Became A Registered Psychometrician

blepp 2016

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Becoming a Registered Psychometrician - an achievement that was unlocked in my list of goals for 2016.

While most people ushered the New Year 2016 with a multitude of resolutions, I kicked it off with a list of goals. At that very moment, I was not sure whether I will be able to complete everything in time. All I know is that I was motivated and hopeful about the future. My list included small goals such as "learning how to ride a jeepney" and bigger goals such as "investing a portion of my money to mutual funds". One of the career milestones that I included is to become a Psychometrician.

I never knew that I will become one! For starters, I graduated overseas under a United Kingdom degree. This means that I had to endure stricter guidelines when it comes to my requirements. It took me a total of 5 months to complete all my requirements and to wait for the authority's approval. I am not complaining. This length of time was understandable due to my unique circumstance. In fact, my TOR was shipped from UK in a span of 15 days.

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