Why You Should Let Your Emotions Flow And Focus On The Solution

March 14, 2020

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To say that the year 2019 ran by smoothly is completely false! It was one of the most challenging years of my personal and professional life. There were moments when I find myself crying in the corner and praying that things will get better. However, the closure of one issue is the birth of another. With the unending cycle of ups and downs, I learned how to adapt to different types of situations. 2019 has thought me some of the most valuable lessons that I hold dearly to this day. Despite its punches and blessings, I would not have it any other way!

Emotional regulation was one of the priceless lessons I reaped from the past year. Emotions - we all have them - but can we control them? 

According to the British naturalist Charles Darwin, emotions motivate people to response quickly to stimuli in the environment. This helps improve the chances of success and survival. In contrast, the Cannon-Bard theory of emotion states that we feel emotions and experience physical reactions (e.g., sweating, trembling, or muscle tension) simultaneously. Nonetheless, we can define emotion as a complex state of feeling resulting in physical and psychological changes that influence our thoughts and behaviors. 

Whether you are enveloped by feelings of happiness or hunger, people make irrational choices that they are likely to regret later on. It does not matter whether you are fueled with positive or negative emotions! Fueled with rage, a person you once trusted can turn against you in a snap. This is what happened to me. 

I was on the receiving end of hatred and distaste. I will not get into so much details to respect the people involved. As an administrator, I voluntarily put myself in a situation where people can freely speak their positive and negative thoughts in front of me and behind my back.

Not everything said was 100% genuine, nor were they said in a place of peace. Technology is God-sent! However, having all this power does not mean that we will not be responsible for our actions. Instead of confronting the people who spread malicious statements or to explain myself to everyone whom they spread it to, I let my actions speak for itself. 

I took some time to analyze the situation and came up with two efficient ways to look at things. Believe me, it took me a long time to free myself from the feelings of hurt. This is why I focused on what I can control - my thoughts and my actions. Quitting is not an option! Firstly, you can brush off the negative comments of others as you know the true contents of your heart. Secondly, you can understand where they are coming from and improve the standards of work that you have been putting out. These two perspectives helped me to grow as the year went along. 

No matter how badly or poorly a person treats you, turn the other cheek! You do not want to act irrationally or say things you do not mean. Letting our emotions get the best of us can result to decisions that are not given much thought to. 

Whenever I am faced with a stressful situation, I try to isolate myself first or let my emotions flow. Once it simmers down, I analyze the situation at hand and think of possible solutions. Then, I go back to the person involved and communicate openly and respectfully. 

I can vividly recall the time when I had to say: "I understand that accidents happen and no one intends this to happen. I would rather not blame anyone and focus on the solution." Whether it is guilt or frustration that dictates your motivations, nothing good can ever come from a place of intense emotions. Try to understand where the person is coming from and accept your limitations. Accepting the situation does not mean you fully agree with a behavior. Instead, you are simply opening yourself to the gift of forgiveness and moving forward. 

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Letting go of intense emotions and focusing on what matters the most is such a freeing feeling! It goes without saying that I am grateful for everything I have experienced in the past. I would have not grown if it were not from my mistakes, my emotional regulation, my faith, my act of acceptance, and my journey to forgiveness. These are all part of the fun! May my story help you one way or another. 

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