Psychology Of Love And Attraction: You Are There For A Reason

August 15, 2015

By: Anna Agoncillo and Anonymous Guest Writer 

This is a story of someone who experienced young love and pure attraction first hand…
Image Credits: (CC0 Public Domain)
Psychology Of Love

As time passes, our definition of love seems to demystify. We learn more about the chemical reactions that produce it, its observable effects on our behavior, and its diversity across culture. Truthfully, falling in love with someone is combination of Biological, Psychological, and Social processes. 

If you watched the complete series of "How I Met Your Mother" then, you would not forget the time when Barney Stinson muttered about the "Lemon Law":

According to him, it takes about 5 minutes to gage if the relationship shall persist. But, science dictates that it is less than that! In just 4 minutes, you can decide whether you like someone or not. This is because 55% of the impression is transmitted through body language. In attraction, your ability to smooth-talk matters by 7% only. 

Taking attraction to another level will increase the chances of falling in love. And, did you know that falling in love is like taking a dose of cocaine

Researchers from Syracuse University found that several euphoria-inducing chemicals such as adrenaline, vasopression, oxytocin, and dopamine are released in the 12 areas of the brain at the same time. A similar effect and a sense of euphoria is also attained by taking the said drug. That is why people cannot get enough of love (or cocaine for that matter)!

Becoming Addicted To Love...

As I said, this story is about young love and pure attraction as told from the person's (i.e., anonymous guest writer's) point of view:

We met by chance. Chance that sprung through my academic failure. The first time I saw him, I got really curious. You see, I have a habit of liking men who are smart or at least who appear to be.

As I was sieving out the men in the class for a person that may potentially be close to me, he was did not even made the list. It is because I felt cautious. I was scared that I would like him - romantically. 

He was not the Prince Charming type that oozes with good looks rather, he looked awkward and annoying. But, when the professor started to pair you and your friend with our thesis group, I was amazed with your wits. You were smart. I sighed in relief that at least we got that going for us.

Days went pass and my curiosity about you got stronger. Interestingly, we had the same schedule for the internship. This only means that we get to interact more.

I even had a chance to drive you to and from the hospital since it was convenient for the both of us. The two of us alone in a long ride was so rare and  yet so special. 

You know what killed the cat? Curiosity.  That happened to me. My curiosity about you suddenly turned into an interest. Not just the petty thing called crush. No, not that. And no, did not just turn to “love” overnight. In fact,  I do not know how it happened but…it did!

It is something a teenager would say and I found that gross. But, as a young adult, this cutesy feelings kept creeping inside my chest. It is foreign, annoying, ticklish and… it is beautiful.

I am a human being whose emotions are often in dichotomy: either sadness or happiness. And, most of the time, I do not feel anything at all. My sole purpose was to live by breathing and moving. Somehow, everything has changed. 

As our friendship got deeper, I started singing songs in the radio and when people are around. For the first time, I was not conscious about what other people may think. I feel free to sing along to any tunes I want. 

One time my mother asked me: “Are you in love?” I guess she noticed the change in me too. I never told her about him yet she knows. A mother always knows.

Depression led me to my academic failure but it also led me to a special class with him. 
Before I met him, I was cautious of my actions, afraid of committing mistakes, and generally emotionless. Suddenly, my black and white world was gone. My life palette are now boasting with yellow, pink, green, and other colors I never knew that existed. 

Image Credits: (CC0 Public Domain)
I am not entirely sure that you are the only reason why I changed. Perhaps it is the environment or the coping process.

Maybe I am not “in love”. Maybe I am just romanticizing things like how some girls do. Or maybe I am just in denial. But maybe…just maybe, you are there for a reason. 

Be in AWE of the previous posts: Move Away Self-Esteem; Make Way For Self-CompassionHow To Overcome Fear In The 21st Century

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