4 Ways To Strengthen Your Mother-Daughter Bond
February 24, 2016 |
| Image Credits: pixabay.com (CC0 Public Domain) |
How do I begin to define the mother-daughter relationship?
I for one think that it's very dynamic and complex.
Its dynamism is due to the natural progression of life. Mothers start out as primary caregivers and role models for their young daughters. Some mothers even wish that their daughters would choose a path that resembles theirs. However, as daughters mature, they become increasingly independent. In their attempts to map out their own identities, daughters often choose paths that are purposefully distinct from their mothers.
I shall explain its complexity with personal sentiments. Sometimes I feel that my mother does not understand me nor do I understand her. Other times I feel that it is only us against the world. Like any other relationships, we have our lows and our highs. But no matter what, I know that she will always be there for me as I am there for her.
If you value building a loving, healthy, and strong bond with your mother as much as I do, consider this simple list as a guide.
1. SET BOUNDARIES
According to Linda Gordon and Susan Shaffer, the authors of "Too Close for Comfort? Questioning the Intimacy of Today's New Mother-Daughter Relationship", moms and their children shall have a close bond but never to the point that they are best friends!
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A best friend is someone whom you share the same experiences with at the same time. This can never happen in your relationship. Also, one thing that best friends do not share is the unconditional love that exists between a parent-child relationship. Would your best friend sacrifice her own life for you as much as your mother would?
2. APOLOGIZE WHEN NECESSARY
Among other things, the difficulty in acknowledging the change in one another can create a conflict between the adult daughters and their aging mothers. And if that conflict boils up, do not wait for the other person to make the first move. Instead, say sorry and own up to your mistake. This is something that I have to work for myself.
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| Image Credits: pixabay.com (CC0 Public Domain) |
Dr. Linda Mintle, a marriage and family therapist, says that you must think about how you feel in the relationship and what you can do to change it.
3. LET YOUR CHILD EXPERIENCE FAILURE
Some mothers are overprotective that rather than letting their children experience failure, they would do their best to prevent it. Failure is important as it can become a learning experience.
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| Image Credits: pixabay.com (CC0 Public Domain) |
Instead of fixing the problem at hand, mothers must actively listen to what their daughters are going through. Taking a step back allow the daughters to cope with the problems and develop their self-esteem.
4. COMMUNICATE OPENLY
Lack of communication is one of the common challenges between mothers and daughters. Because neither you or your mother are mind readers, you must be transparent about what you feel. If your mother is treating you like a child, you can calmly say something like: "Mama, you are not treating me like an adult and I feel the need for change."
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| Image Credits: pixabay.com (CC0 Public Domain) |
Aside from openness, it is crucial that you talk with respect. Words are hard to take back!
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